


Florida

by mystery_deer



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystery_deer/pseuds/mystery_deer
Summary: Holt gets put in the witness protection programKevin gets the news.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Comments: 7
Kudos: 86





	1. In a dark dark room

Raymond watched as Jake and Amy said a tearful goodbye, hugging each other close and sobbing silently into each other’s shoulders.

“Are you crying?” Amy asked, eyes closed.  
“No, definitely not.” Jake said, laughing softly before hiccuping.  
“Because we’re gonna see each other again in no time right?”

Amy nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna catch that son of a bitch, we all are.” 

Marshall Haas had told him, alone in a dark room, that they would be contacting Kevin.  
“You mean to tell me that I can’t even explain all this to him?” He’d asked, rage winning out over shock. 

Jake had talked a mile a minute in the car over, asking what they were going to do.  
“You can come back from witsec right?” He’d asked, mania tinging his words. “Right!?”  
“Calm down son.” Raymond had said firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
“It’s all going to be alright.” He’d lied.

The last time he’d seen Kevin in person was months ago, in France.  
The last time he’d spoken to him was a day ago, over the phone.

“Un de mes élèves est un peu con.  
J'ai aussi essayé et je ne peux pas dire que j'aime l'escargot”

The last thing he might ever remember his husband saying and it was so mundane.  
And yet he still committed it to memory, going over his voice, his inflection-  
No, no. He would see him again.  
He wished he could take a picture.  
He wished he could run from the room, find the nearest phone and scream into it for help.

“We’re doing this for his safety as well as yours.” The Marshall had continued, looking bored but not unsympathetic.  
“If Kevin were to...hm.” She rolls her eyes back in thought, obviously reviewing some sort of script in her head.  
“If your attacker were to believe you weren’t dead and that one of your relatives could divulge your whereabouts it would be incredibly dangerous for everyone involved.”

Raymond closed his eyes.  
The last time he’d kissed Kevin was months ago, as they left each other at the airport.  
He had been preparing to board but been pulled back and kissed by an apparently overwrought Kevin. It felt suspiciously romantic and made his stomach flip.  
“I don’t want you to go.” Kevin had told him, looking down into his eyes.  
“You’re going to miss your flight.” He’d continued, sense washing over him.

In the dark room Raymond wished he’d never come back.  
Wished he could turn back time and wrap his arms around his husband’s shoulders, tell him he didn’t want to go either - that nothing mattered really except him.

But that was foolishly romantic and a great many things did matter.  
They’d uncovered a mole in the NYPD.  
They’d taken down a corrupt cop.  
They’d helped so many people.

‘And this is your reward.’ He thought bitterly.  
He decided to think about Jake, Jake who so desperately needed him.  
He would think about Jake. Take care of him. Be there for him.

“Fine.” He finally said, aware he’d taken longer than needed to speak and grateful the Marshall hadn’t interjected and instead decided to check her phone. 

“Yeah, I know it’s fine.” She responded.  
“What are you going to tell him?” He asked and she stood, walking towards the door.  
“I think you already know that Captain.”

He did.  
He thought of Ke  
He thought of  
He thh  
Hhhe  
He closed his newly burning eyes and thought only of Jake.


	2. Crash Course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin gets a call.

Kevin got the call after returning to the apartment he’d called his home during his stay in France.  
He’d been hanging up his coat when the landline rung and picked it up without looking, expecting it to be some colleague who didn’t know him well enough to have his cellphone number.

“Hello? Kevin Cozner speaking.”  
“Hello Kevin Cozner.” Said an unfamiliar voice on the other end. Kevin pulled out a notepad and a pen to write down any information that might be important.  
“I’m from the FBI, and we have some terrible news.” Her voice sounded painfully neutral for so-called terrible news and he wondered if this was a prank call.

“FBI?” A pause as she confirmed this. “...Is this about Raymond?” He asked, something sinking in his stomach. Why was the FBI calling him? If Raymond were injured surely he’d get a call from the NYPD or potentially his own squad.

“Yes, I’m afraid he was in an accident.”  
An accident? His entire body hollowed itself out.  
“During a police chase his and another vehicle collided at high speeds.”  
An accident? He felt disoriented, like his body was trying to stop him from processing the words.  
“Officer Jake Peralta was also in the crash - it was...well I’m afraid it was fatal sir.”  
An accident?

no

“...Sir?”

please

“Again, the NYPD is deeply sorry for your-”  
He slammed the phone down and down and down and down and down and then fell to the floor. He screamed so loud there was a knock at the door but he kept screaming until he began crying too hard to there was nothing there was nothing the air was changed the air was changed he couldn’t breathe he felt something rise in his throat and clawed at it oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god please no pleasepleasepleaseno 

Not Raymond. _Do you Kevin Cozner take Raymond Holt-? Yes. And do you Raymond Holt-?  
Yes, yes we do! We're married!_  
Pleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleaseno

An accident?pleasenopleaseno bright  
Pleasenopleasenoanaccident red _"I know things haven't been...great, recently. But I love you. I love you and_  
deeplypleasenopleasmarksenopleasenosorryforpleaseno _I want to fix whatever this is between us. Please come to visit me in France."_  
bright red marks marring the pavement dontthinkaboutitdonttdontdont brightredmarks

The door was opened and someone who worked in the building looked down at him, disturbed and at a loss for what to do. _"I don't want you to leave."_

“He’s dead!” Kevin managed to choke out, high pitched and close to a shriek. “He’s dead he’s dead oh nooo ohnoooo ohnoooooooRaymond raymondraymondraymooond.” He curled up on himself and slammed his fist onto the hardwood floors as he groaned his husband’s name.

He opened his eyes the next day feeling a bone-deep exhaustion.  
He remembered the call immediately and shut his eyes again, for just a second longer.  
Then he got up and reached for the phone before reconsidering and taking out his cell.

“Hello? Yes, this is Professor Kevin Cozner and I’d like to discuss taking leave...yes of course...yes, this is Professor Kevin Cozner. To whom am I speaking? Hello Miss Grey. I’d like to discuss taking a leave of absence effective immediately? A family emergency…Circumstances? My husband has just died.”

He was on a plane back to New York the next day after calling a friend and asking them to please housesit for him until he was back, Cheddar needed looking after. What if Raymond had left the windows open? 

What if it was cold?

He had to call Debbie  
And his mother.  
And so many friends.  
He had to make arrangements and organize  
Organize…

He pulled on an eye mask and leaned into the window to cover up his crying, wrapping the blanket he’d bought in the airport tighter around himself.  
He wanted to talk to him.

There was no one in the world he wanted to share his grief with besides Raymond.  
There was no one else in the entire world he wanted to see or speak to.

When he slept he dreamt of the two of them, together again, riding in a car. Someone was driving and though he couldn’t see their face he knew it was an officer.

They were in the backseat like prisoners, unable to escape and Kevin was panicking because he knew that they were hurtling towards death.  
“You worry too much.” Raymond told him, placing a hand on his back as Kevin tried desperately to force the door open or get the driver to please for the love of God STOP THE CAR.

“No no! You don’t understand!” He insisted, spinning around and cupping his husband’s face which was looking back at him - a gently bemused smile on his lips.  
Some self-aware part of him screamed that it was too late, that he'd never see this smile again.

“What don’t I understand?”  
He could hear another car approaching and his entire body was cold. His heart hammered in his chest.

“We’re going to die Raymond!” He cried, moving to clutch at his clothes. He was wearing all his decorations now - ready to be lowered into the ground. Kevin choked back a sob.

“Well, better to die together then.” Raymond told him, hugging him tightly. Kevin could tell he didn’t believe him - couldn’t grasp the danger they were both in - thought he was being silly and it was infuriating.  
There was nothing he could do and that was even more infuriating. 

He closed his eyes and held Raymond close to him, pressing him close against the cushioned seats and hoped that maybe they could brace for impact, maybe he could save him this time-

But then there was that squealing sound of rubber skidding and an explosion of pain and noise as the collision took place.

He woke up in New York feeling as if he hadn’t slept in days.


	3. Something I'm Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Holt are being driven to the safehouse, it's not a fun ride

Raymond sat in a car with Jake. There were two moving vans somewhere and when they got close enough to their new...living arrangements they were to move to two separate cars so as not to arouse suspicion.

They were supposed to be in two separate cars the entire time but Raymond had insisted he and Jake be together and Jake looked so nervous that the Marshall had quickly agreed if only to make the process go smoother.

“Amy’s gonna find him.” Jake said. It was the first thing Raymond had caught even though he’d been talking on and off the entire trip.   
“She’s gonna find him and we’ll be back in no time.” 

Raymond thought very hard about nothing. They had both been given new cell phones but in the few minutes he’d been left alone in that room he’d taken his out and read through as much of his text message chain with Kevin he could. 

Keeping himself from calling had been the hardest thing in the world.

“How do you think...did you get to talk to Kevin?” Jake asked, looking from Raymond to the window to Raymond again. 

“No.” He responded, almost smoothly. Jake looked crushed and Raymond felt anger well up inside him. Misplaced. He was taking care of Jake. He was trying to help.

“But-!”  
“He’s a civilian. If he knew I was alive it would put him and everyone who knows us in great danger. It’s for the be-”

“He thinks you’re dead!?” Jake exclaimed in disbelief, pulling at his own hair.   
“How else would it be explained to him?”

“That’s! That’s-!”   
Jake thought about his own tearful goodbye with Amy and though he didn’t regret it, he regretted having it in front of Holt.   
Raymond didn’t know this, but he felt his earlier anger smoothed over with affection for the other man who was so indignant on his behalf. 

“That’s bullshit!”  
“It’s protocol.”  
“It’s fucking bullshit.”

They were quiet for a minute before Raymond began to laugh, low and long. Jake tilted his head and asked if he was alright.

“No.” Raymond responded, looking out the window. “Not at all.”

He was unspeakably glad that Greg Stickney was straight.  
He didn’t think he could possibly handle being himself.  
And he would not ever love anyone other than Kevin Cozner.  
No force on this earth could make him denounce that.

“I was just thinking about-” He paused to laugh. “About how he’d have to call a pet sitter for Cheddar!” His laughter was manic and high pitched and he had to shut his eyes against it. Jake frowned and hugged himself, looking out his window. 

“Uhh..is that..funny? Is there something I’m missing?” Raymond shook his head, looking up at the car’s ceiling.   
“I don’t know.” He admitted, breathing evening out. “I don’t know.”


	4. Break and Enter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy visits Kevin

Amy couldn’t focus on anything other than work for a week.  
And then she couldn’t focus on anything.

Rosa and Terry had first forced her to take a nap and then forced her to go home.  
They meant well and it was what she needed but she hated them for it.  
Any time she wasn’t using to work on Jake and Holt’s case felt like time wasted.

“Oooh you’re looking awful Amy. Like, even for you.” Gina said in vague delight as Amy sat at her desk, head down. Her hair was braided into knots. 

“Need to keep working…”  
“You need” She said. “To take a shower.” 

And she was right.   
But as she was driving home that night she remembered, at a red light, the conversation she’d had with the Marshall.  
About Kevin.

“Mr.Cozner is a civilian so he’ll be notified later.” She’d said.  
Amy knew what civilians were told.  
She’d been lucky, a cop dating a cop. God, they were dating and she knew where Jake was and she was devastated. She couldn’t even imagine…

But she could.  
She could imagine quite clearly.  
For some reason she pictured Kevin’s hands. Holding each other now that Holt’s weren’t there to take half the pressure off, white at the knuckle.

She was at his house. The captain’s house- The.   
She shouldn’t be here, she thought to herself.  
She would leave, turn the car around, go home, shower.   
She got out of the car and rang the bell.

There was noise inside, nails on the hardwood as Cheddar rushed to see who was at the door but politely refused to bark. She waited for another two minutes before ringing the bell again, this time Cheddar was unable to hold himself back and let out a quiet woof.

“Cheddar, get away from there.” She heard someone hiss.   
“Kevin! Uh? Mr.Cozner? Are you home?”

Silence. A whisper again, lower. Cheddar began to retreat back into the house, bribed by something.   
“Um okay I understand if you don’t want..” She sighed, straightened up. She wouldn’t slouch or stutter and Kevin wasn’t here to glare at her and even if he was she’d glare right back. She was doing this, she’d driven here for a reason.

“I get it if you don’t want company right now but there’s something I really really need to tell you. It’s important.”

“Detective Santiago please remove yourself from my doorstep.”  
“No. I need-”  
“You need.” Kevin said, voice rising but not shouting yet. “To get off my doorstep.”

Amy stood her ground. Kevin was just behind the door now. He was leaning against it, facing the empty, lonely house. His face didn’t look nearly as strong as his voice sounded. Amy didn’t know this, Amy stood her ground.

“Kevin. I know you’re upset-”  
“What do you want? Do you want to offer me your condolences? Then just call like everyone else. Every fucking member of the NYPD has been calling me saying what a loss this is for them. For the force.” He spat.

Amy’s attention drifted to the living room window which Cheddar had nosed his way under and was now half out of, tongue lolling cheerfully out of his mouth. She took the hint and opened it wide enough for her to crawl through, landing silently on the couch beneath it. Cheddar immediately stood on her lap and licked her ear.

“Do they think I care? Do any of you think I care? What, am I supposed to be grateful? What has the force done for us?” Kevin was on the move and Amy took the time to look around the room. She had never seen the house so dark. There didn’t seem to be any lights on at all and though the house wasn’t messy it was...slanted. Wrong.

She realized, softly, that below the couch someone had set up a makeshift bed. The table had two mugs of something on it without a single coaster.

“Years of discrimination, abuse, harrassment. He’d come home-” A pause as his voice broke. Cheddar jumped down onto Kevin’s makeshift bed and nosed at the pillow.

The captain’s favourite sweater was underneath it, propping it up. Amy touched it lightly before pulling back, she didn’t want to marr it somehow. She knew if anyone came into her apartment and diminished anything Jake in there she’d find them and clobber them to death. Or just yell at them. Probably yell at them. 

Probably.

“-He’d come home hollow and shaken and angry and so so stubborn...Wouldn’t quit no matter what I did. I didn’t do much. Should I have? I love him I-” There was the sound of something being knocked over. The phone, she decided. She should go out there, talk to him. But.

She remembered all the days with Rosa, venting and crying and asking if everything was going to be okay. She didn’t think she’d have made it if Rosa wasn’t there, letting her talk. Listening.   
She would listen, she would let him talk.

“Loved. Him. The NYPD is deeply sorry for your loss. The NYPD is deeply sorry for my loss? You’re the ones that killed him.” And the words were so cold, so empty. She’d expected him to shout. He chuckled instead.

“You’re the ones that- god...oh...they killed my Raymond.” 

Amy raced from the room into the hallway to find Kevin sitting next to the overturned phone stand. The phone was broken, the dial cracked. Kevin looked WRONG and Amy realized that she’d never seen him slouch before. Never seen him sit with his head on his knees like he was.

“Kevin.”  
His head shot up, eyes wide with first fear then narrowed in outrage as he realized his house had been broken into.  
“Detective-”  
“He’s not dead.”

They both froze as if equally shocked by the revelation.  
A long silence grew between them. Kevin coughed and shook his head, eyes trained on the detective.

“No.”  
She took a step forward. “He’s not dead.”  
“Stop.”  
She fell to her knees gently, taking his hand. “He’s not dead Kevin. He’s not dead, they lied. Neither of them are dead.”

“A car crash…” Her gut twisted to hear his voice shatter, see his eyes glass over in pain.  
“No.”  
“He...in a car crash...Peralta…”  
“He didn’t. Neither of them did. They’re in witsec, they’re- I don’t know exactly where they are I’m sorry I can’t - but they’re alive! They’re really alive Kevin I promise-”

“Raymond’s alive?” Kevin asked, voice returning. His hand squeezed hers and she squeezed his back. She nodded, eyes welling up with tears against her will.

“Holt’s alive.” 

Kevin leaned back, covered his mouth and sobbed. Silent except for labored breathing. Cheddar tottered his way over to the two of them, unsure who to comfort first. He ultimately decided on Kevin, pawing at his knee and trying to reach his face. After a few minutes he calmed and picked the dog up, holding him close. 

“Raymond is alive.” He informed Cheddar, who licked him in response, finding an opening.

“...Thank you, Detective Santiago.”  
“It’s nothing.”  
He took her hand again and looked her in the eye. His gaze was grave and grateful.  
“Thank you, Detective Santiago.”

She nodded and found herself smiling slightly, shaking it.   
“You’re welcome.”


End file.
